For better or worse, men
generally value power, competency, efficiency and achievement. They are
always trying to develop skills and prove themselves. In fact this is not
ungodly. It's actually a good way to gain self confidence. These things
only become a problem when they are done out of wrong motives and take the
place of God.
most men, fulfillment comes through success and accomplishment
rather than sharing and relating. It is the ability to be self sufficient
and competent that is most fulfilling to a man. A man, often takes pride
in doing things all by himself and doesn't always see we were meant to
A woman is motivated when she feels
cherished - protected tended to. The highest compliment you can pay a
woman is your undivided attention-make time to give her this attention!
The Modern Dating
este artículo es Español
What is dating? By
the word dating we are referring to the twentieth century phenomenon
knows as modern recreational dating. It works something like this. A boy
meets a girl, decides that she is pleasing in some sense (e.g., cute
smile, sexy body, nice sounding voice, cool friends, groovy car, etc.)
and then asks her to go out on a date. If she accepts, the boy will pick
her up at a certain time and then (typically) will take her out to
dinner, and/or to a movie (or concert, etc.) and then in many cases will
park the car in a secluded area and engage in necking and heavy petting.
In today's culture "nice girls" will not allow the necking and
petting until the second, third or fourth date. In modern America,
dating among high school and college students frequently involves booze,
drugs and sexual intercourse.
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- Learn to put God first in your life! Be prepared for a Christian
marriage! Read the Bible, attend a church you feel comfortable with.
Study God's wisdom for marriage, husbands and wives. The Bible gives
us one very important instruction in this area, and that is to be
"equally yoked". (II
Corinthians 6:14) Study this and understand it's true
- Know Yourself! Take the time to make any necessary changes YOU may
need so that you can become a good partner to someone. You CANNOT be
happy in ANY marriage without first being happy yourself!
- Know what you need! You must know what your needs are so that you
can communicate them to a potential partner. These are the things you
cannot compromise on! Ask your partner what his/her needs are. Find
out whether the two of you can meet these needs for each other. We
can't even begin to tell you how important this really is!
- Learn to accept the warning signals you feel while dating someone!
The realization that someone your dating is not your "special
someone" is half the battle. You could spend a lifetime trying to
make a relationship work, that essentially, would never work! Everyone
has good and bad qualities. Just because you may not be suited for
someone does not mean that that person would not be a great partner
for someone else! If it's not "right", respect yourself and
that person enough to let go. Both of you deserve a happy life.
- Don't live in fear about the possibilities that you may be single in
your lifetime. Fear breeds insanity while dating! Your needs won't
matter at all! You can make very foolish decisions if this fear takes
over. Fill your life with the things that make you happy. Give it to
God and LEAVE it there!
- Excessive drinking, (practicing alcoholics, weekend binger's etc.),
substance abusers and the like, are "NOT AVAILABLE" for a
committed relationship. These individuals need help and the disease or
diseases make them, for the moment, unable to sustain a healthy
relationship. It is impossible by God's standards to worship anything
above Him! God must always come first! This type of
"relationship" will only prove to hurt you over and over
again. Always encourage, as much as possible, that they seek the help
they so deserve, so that one day they can experience the life that God
has intended for them. For Christian Resources for recovery on the
internet, go to Christians
- Seek a good reputable Christian counselor, if possible, to assist
you in making the right decision. Marriage is a, COMMITMENT, for LIFE.
You owe it to yourself to make the best possible decision. Finding the
right mate and making an lifetime commitment to that person is a
wonderful gift from God!
Please red our book titled:
Courtship According To God by Jorge & Lorena Gamboa